Success through failure

This is most likely going to be the last post on this blog in a while. I've managed to get a job, and as of today it is signed and sealed and official. So I'm happy happy happy! In retrospect things went as well as they could have: applied to three jobs, had three interviews and two offers. I never expected things to go that smooth.

For the next two years I'll be project scientist with JIVE, the sister-institute of ASTRON and housed in the same building (how convenient!). The job is to develop user-support software for BlackHole Cam, aka the Event Horizon Telescope. Sounds like good fun and an excellent stepping stone for software related jobs in business.

I'm very excited about the prospect! It is far enough from my current job that people will realize I'm not working for them anymore. Yet I'm in the same building with many familiar faces. It is new things to learn, which I love, and new people to meet.

On the other hand, it may just be delaying the inevitable, since this is also not a permanent job. And I will dearly miss my SKA colleagues with whom I've worked for many years. However, I'm always the optimist, and believe that when I do a good job, something good will pop up in due time. It's what happened this time. It's what happened almost every time I was looking for jobs.

In addition, I am still seriously considering to become a physics teacher. That idea is now more solid than ever. It requires me going back to college for a year, which is not possible next to a nearly full-time job. They do offer the opportunity of a 4 month teaser course starting in February, and I plan to do that in the last year of this job.

So I failed to move out of the ivory tower. At best I'm sitting in the front yard with only a high barbed wire fence between me and the real world. Actually that doesn't sound too bad for the next two years. The real world is a terrifying place.

Thanks to everyone for having my back, and providing extremely helpful advice! Talking to you has helped me stay upright and maintain my sanity. Eventually, talking to people is what got me this job. So the best advice I can give in return for your support: when in need of a job, talk to as many people as possible!

Choices, choices, choices...

I honestly never expected to be in this situation by now: I have two offers for a job. And I haven't even started working down my list of names from other people's networks yet. It feels a bit weird and thoroughly exciting at the same time.

Last week I had another interview, which went well. I was told they had one other candidate and I would hear back this week, so that would give me another 33% chance of an offer. The two options I have now are already orthogonal to eachother, this one would add another orthogonal one, making it immensely hard to choose. Decisions will have to be made soon...

In the mean time, I have been exploring the teaching option very seriously as well. I talked to a physics teacher yesterday, and she reflected my opinion that it is hard work, but very rewarding. She also pointed out that she feels more at home in schools with only the higher levels of high-school education, because the kids are more motivated. My main worry is that I would be teaching lower levels only, given the fact that I don't have an official teaching license for high levels, and I'm not sure I would feel comfortable with that.

Today or tomorrow I will talk to the people organizing the teacher education at the University of Groningen. This is a part-time study, and I am seriously considering to start there anyway while I take one of the two (or three) jobs. That way I can be fully prepared when either the next contract runs out, or I feel that teaching is indeed the way for me to go. Both offers include a part-time option, the question is if the logistics on a day to day basis will work out.

We'll make you an offer you can't refuse

Yesterday I went to see the company which left some weird impressions during and after the first meeting. It was a first impression, and I decided to give them a second chance. For several reasons, but mostly since I firmly believe everyone deserves a second chance.

The second meeting had a much more relaxed atmosphere. Turns out they were genuinely impressed when I answered 'four' to the question how many kids I have. Yes, I know, they cannot legally ask such questions, but it is a small company and I don't see how making that a secret would help me in getting a job with them. If having four kids would be a hurdle, I'd probably never be happy in a job there.

Anyway, the discussion was good, I got to ask some critical questions and point out both my strengths and flaws. Same issue here: everyone has flaws. Pretending to be perfect will not help me in finding a job that fits. The others around the table seemed to have a similar opinion.

In general there was a good click and after 50 minutes I was told they would make me an offer. That was a surprise, as I never considered this an official job interview. However, I even managed to chime in that my preference would be a job for 4 days a week initially, which seemed to be no problem at all.

Back home I didn't quite know what had hit me. Part of me was thrilled that there are apparently still people who value others for their skills and are willing to take a leap of faith with someone who doesn't quite fit the default company profile. Another positive thing: I can use this in negotiations with other potential employers, including my current one. Beware! The lady has leverage and is not afraid to use it!

Another part of me is scared sh!tless: taking up this offer means I really have to leave astronomy. Apparently I'm not as ready for that as I had thought. It feels like an enormous loss, and I am genuinely sad about it. Astronomy is what I wanted to do since I was 8 years old, I cannot imagine doing something else. The ivory tower is all I have known for almost 20 years. Outside it looks cold and barren, and I'm scared to leave.

Legal issues

Sit yourself down, this is going to be a long one.

Figuring out if I can have another extension on my contract was highly non-trivial. At first HR said no to me and some other people. But it turns out they were mistaken. Took me a few iterations with them to understand exactly what my contract position is though. In my case I can work here for up to 6 years, with two renewals along the way. Standard it is only 3 years though, hence the confusion.

Under Dutch law, temporary contracts are strictly limited. A person has to be offered a permanent contract after a certain number of renewals, or after the 3 (or 6) years. Fair enough if you work in a business, but this is killing for scientific positions. Post-docs either have to move into a staff position after a successful job, or leave. Since I formally work for one of the largest scientific employers of the country, I will be excluded from jobs even in another of their institutes.

One option is to become unemployed for 3 months, then the sheet is cleaned and they can offer me another temporary function. However, that constitutes a delay that is not always welcome. Though I wouldn't mind a three month holiday myself ;-)

Completely unrelated to my job search, but I need to get this off my chest.

 I spent a morning in a small claims court on Tuesday. When we moved here 4 years ago, the market crashed and selling our house was no longer an option. So we rented it out. The second tenant was a total jerk, didn't pay rent and left the house a mess, so I filed a suit. The agency renting it out for me messed up. The collecting agency messed up. And I was left on my own to make amends as well as I could in front of a judge.

Apparently in the Dutch legal system you cannot expect people to treat your house with some measure of respect, even if they have a contractual obligation to do so. Though he had to pay the rent, only the damages that we had repair bills for were granted. In the end the legal fees were higher than the money I got back. Lesson learned.

Free legal advice to all of you renting a house here: don't pay your last month's rent if you want your deposit back. The burden of proof is on the landlord. And if you move out of the country, there is not a chance in hell they will come an find you. Also, if you stay here, there are no legal or other consequences, even though your contract says it is not allowed.

Maybe I should have gone to law-school. For sure these people make much better salaries than a mere astronomer. And they can mess up without having to pay for the consequences.

There's always teaching

At the start of my career as a professional astronomer, I told myself that I could always become a highschool teacher if I would fail in science. In the crazy busy schedule of the last months, this had slipped my mind somewhat. Also the prospect of working with teenagers was not the most appealing.

This week I was reminded how much fun I have in working with kids of any age. First I was talking at the local elementary school. Explaining to kids age 8 to 12 what dark matter is in less than 5 minutes is quite a challenge. Nevertheless, I got great positive feedback from my own kids, and I've not felt that energized in a long time!

Next day I was asked to come talk to a high-school student, who happened to be visiting a nearby planetarium with her school for a day. She was so excited about science in general and astronomy in particular, it was really good fun.

So I started to think again. Maybe teaching is the way to go anyway. Unfortunately, there are no highschools that teach astronomy. Physics and math would be an option though. I've asked around, and one math teacher I know offered me the opportunity to come and teach in his place for an hour or so.

I might just take him up on that. After all, teenagers can hardly be much worse than astronomers with oversized ego's... ;-)

Bugger off brain!

I honestly try to keep a positive attitude in all this, but my brain is staging a hostile take over of any positive thought between 2 and 4 AM. This is seriously conflicting with getting enough sleep.

So here's hoping that writing all this down will help. According to my brain I have failed at:
- keeping a job for longer than 4 years anywhere
- becoming a project scientist
- submitting a first author paper every year for the last many years
- applying for grants
- even being aware I could still apply for grants
- finding PhDs or first year postdocs to build up a team
- constructing a solid basis for diversity in the organization
- applying for a tenure-track position
- standing up for myself when I feel left out

That's all true, but my dear brain has been notified well in advance of all the decisions that led to this situation. I'd even go as far to say that my brain was in charge of taking them, though gut feeling was always an important second. Plus, in the mean time I have had a fabulous jobs over the last decade: who can say they get paid for doing what they love most?

So dear brain, please stop harassing me! Really. Stop it. If you don't, I'll be forced to take actions in the shape of a glass of 16yo single malt before going to bed.

Just another week in the life of a job-seeker

This week I had what sounded like a first interview, but was actually a first getting-to-know a company that sounded very interesting to me. I visited them in their location in the south of the country and got a tour of the lab facilities there. Very impressive! Then I chatted with two of the people about the next move the company wants to make. They asked me to look into this option and we will meet again in another location of theirs to discuss my ideas. Basically they gave me 'carte blanche' to write a business plan for a new branch. That is just SO AWESOME!

As for the late submission due the my e-mail failure: I am still in the loop. The organization is trying to advertise the job broader, and the deadline has been moved to May 15th. Would have been so nice if they had updated their information on time, and not after I resent my application while crawling through the dust, but who am I to blame them for being late...

In the mean time I'm trying to get in touch with more small businesses and talking to people in my network. All sorts of ideas have popped up. One which I will pursue in more detail is teaching Python. It won't be a full-time job, but I love to teach and I know Python quite well.

Karma or just stupid?

Sometimes you think you've got it all under control, only to find that due to some stupid event, things are not at all what you wanted them to be. This happens occasionally when I am at a cross-roads and facing tough decisions. Whatever the event, the decision seems to be made for me. Almost as if there is a higher power that is steering me in some direction. If I weren't such a sceptic, I might turn religious.

One such moment occurred this week. Late Sunday evening I felt really proud that I managed to attend a busy meeting in the UK, meet up with collaborators there as well, prepare two talks for the coming week, submit a job application, and have fun with the kids over the weekend. Yay me!

Of course I used my home laptop, something I rarely do, but the thing was readily at hand. Of course I used my work e-mail, which never works from home. And of course the application was the last thing I did, reading it through once more without kids running around. I clicked send, closed the laptop and went to bed.

Come this morning, I wake up with a nagging feeling: did I really use my work e-mail? I never do that for applications. But I should check. Of course: there it is. The original e-mail typed up on Sunday evening, with a little additional screen saying "Cannot send message using server X". Cue the cursing, screaming and shouting at e-mail servers and firewalls.

The application was resend, including a sincere apology and attempt to explain why it was late. It remains to be seen what the aftermath of this will be. Was this indeed one of these deciding moments, or was it plain stupid? At the moment I believe the latter, but I also believe in karma. Karma sounds so much better than stupid.

Time will tell, nothing I can change about it now.

Interview

It started as an inquiry with a company that immediately drew my attention. And it turned into a job interview after sending them my resume. This will be my second interview outside of science, and it feels totally awkward and exciting at the same time.

After the first interview I was told in not too unclear terms that I was too old since I was going on 40. The suggestion being that 'old' people don't learn new things very well. I almost laughed out loud and asked the HR person what she thought I did on a daily basis. Guess what: I learn new things EVERY day. It's what I love about my job!

I hope this second interview will go down better. It is an acoustics company, and the job comes with excellent development opportunities. Their website is promising too. Fingers crossed!

The fast life

In academia it is perfectly normal for the job advertisement and application process to take many months, in some cases up to a year. There are also clear periods in the year when jobs are advertised, so you know when and where to look.

No such thing in business. No way. Job ads are open for 2-3 weeks. Interviews are scheduled the week after the closing date and candidates are made an offer within a week (2 at most) after that. This is the fast life! It still takes me by surprise every time I see an interesting job.

Logistical issues are also plenty. A really nice job is advertised, but the interviews are scheduled in the week when I have a conference. To make matters worse, the conference is in South Africa. Sounds far fetched? Nope, already happened.

Coming back from a 3-week trip with poor internet connectivity a really nice job pops up. Trying to apply it turns out the due date was a week before. Missed it.

I need to clone myself... Or at least think up a way to get the ads into my field of view before they expire.

Resume rewriting

One of the hardest things I've done in a long time: today I was rewriting my scientific resume into something that makes sense for people not familiar with astronomy. That was TOUGH!!

First of all, cutting out my publication list hurt! Though totally insufficient for a science job, this is the most direct reflection of my work over the last 15 years. And I just had to ditch it. Ouch.

Then I had to get rid of all the jargon. Interferometry is really not an every day term in business. Neither are commissioning and verification. And I doubt there is anyone outside of astronomy who has heard of a project scientist in the way we use it.

Having taken these two steps, my resume was still a whopping 4 pages. Way too long according to the leading information: 2 pages. Max! So I took it down to the core and beyond.

Last but not least, there was the major step of considering my skills. What are the skills I have obtained from my scientific work? Surely I did learn *something*. When I talk to people, there always seems a lot of common grounds between our jobs, but how do I convey that in my resume?

I followed advice given in 'The Human Workplace' blogs. Instead of thinking about skills and making a dry list, I thought of major things I have achieved over the last years, and made a small story around them. What did I do, why did it matter, and what did I learn from it? That really helped me to focus. In the process I also decided to include a set of five keywords that describe me, as a teaser right at the start of my resume.

The result is a resume of just under 2 pages, and I feel it captures most of what a do and my potential. I'll be sending it out to some people for feedback, as I'm sure there is still room for improvement. First real test has also taken place: it has been send to a company with a potential job opening. They didn't come back with a resolute "NO" after reading my not-yet-updated LinkedIn profile, so there's hope.

Don't be shy

Since I decided in the beginning of this week to actively start looking for jobs, I have been talking to a lot of people about it. Really. A. Lot! It is amazing how much you can learn by just asking someone if they have a suggestion.

HR managers for example are a treasure trove for finding out about small businesses and the lesser known methods to search for jobs. I've spoken to a few other people with huge networks in the region, and they volunteered their help at any stage, should I need it. Announcing my intent on Facebook and starting this blog has triggered very useful discussions, good advice and tons of heartwarming support.

Sometimes it's not even that difficult, and people will throw opportunity in your lap as soon as you mention you are looking for another job. To quote yesterday's interaction: "You use <insert programming language name here>? Please send me your CV!"

Right. One CV coming up.

Motivational speach

I guess I'll have to pin this to my wall, on my computer screen and next to my bed. I easily slip into trying to make things better in my old situation. It is time to focus on the future.


 

The Big Step(TM)

Being a scientist is not just a job, it is a way of life. Changing that is so extremely profound, it can take people years to decide to move out. Some even continue to try to get science jobs long after academia has spit them out and kicked them while lying on the ground.

Science is addictive. First the sacrifices are small. Just one more proposal to finish before midnight, just one more paper to write during a holiday. You do it because you think you have to. Because this may be your one big break.

This evolves until you think it is perfectly acceptable that you missed your baby's first steps because you had a grant interview, or that you weren't at your grandparent's funeral because you had to present your work at the other end of the world. 

Jobs are rare, so scientists will do anything to beat the competition. They will work for ridiculously low salaries. They will move away from their partner. They will even move away from their children. Temporary, yes, of course, until the one big break. The addiction is relentless.

I have stumbled along in a very non-standard science career for many years. My big break never came. Though science defines me to the core of my being, I have decided to start taking the Big Step and move towards an alternative career. I may even start my own business, that remains to be seen. Like any addict I am convinced I can never live without science, but I may well have to.