The Big Step(TM)

Being a scientist is not just a job, it is a way of life. Changing that is so extremely profound, it can take people years to decide to move out. Some even continue to try to get science jobs long after academia has spit them out and kicked them while lying on the ground.

Science is addictive. First the sacrifices are small. Just one more proposal to finish before midnight, just one more paper to write during a holiday. You do it because you think you have to. Because this may be your one big break.

This evolves until you think it is perfectly acceptable that you missed your baby's first steps because you had a grant interview, or that you weren't at your grandparent's funeral because you had to present your work at the other end of the world. 

Jobs are rare, so scientists will do anything to beat the competition. They will work for ridiculously low salaries. They will move away from their partner. They will even move away from their children. Temporary, yes, of course, until the one big break. The addiction is relentless.

I have stumbled along in a very non-standard science career for many years. My big break never came. Though science defines me to the core of my being, I have decided to start taking the Big Step and move towards an alternative career. I may even start my own business, that remains to be seen. Like any addict I am convinced I can never live without science, but I may well have to.